Sorry may be the hardest word, but saying it more often could be the key to a happy marriage – especially if you are a man.
Researchers have found what most couples surely already know: that people who are willing to concede they are wrong in an argument have better relationships, as well as fewer rows overall.
The effect was particularly pronounced if male partners were prepared to back down, a trait the US researchers call ‘intellectual humility’.
Women married to men who were willing to admit they were wrong tended to be more satisfied with their marriages, the scientists from the University of North Carolina said.
‘Men’s intellectual humility played a stronger role in relationship quality among our participants than women’s,’ they wrote.
‘Adding a dose of intellectual humbleness – recognising one’s viewpoints and beliefs might be wrong – may provide numerous benefits for relationship satisfaction.’
Previous research suggests most couples argue several times a month. Only three per cent claim they never argue, while 30 per cent row once a week or more.
Around 82 per cent of people believe that in most disputes they are right and their spouse is in the wrong.
Researchers have found that male partners with more ‘intellectual humility’, or willingness to back down, have better relationships and fewer rows overall
Previous studies have found most couples argue at least once a month, with 30 per cent saying they fall out at least once a week (file photo)
But the research team found those who were prepared to examine their beliefs more thoroughly, and concede if they changed their minds, had healthier relationships.
The study asked 74 straight couples about how they handled disputes including whether they raised their voices, stormed out of the room or got defensive.
They were given scores on their intellectual humility – and on average men’s scores were around ten per cent higher, showing they tried harder to understand their other half’s position.
Previous academic research found people who scored higher become less upset when other people disagree with them so are less likely to yell or storm out during a row.
Writing in the Journal of Research in Personality, the scientists also said that those who doggedly stuck to their guns in a row made their partners in turn ‘less courteous, tolerant, and intellectually humble’.
