- Relationship expert Dr. Channa Bromley says to find a balance
- Having your partner too distant or too close to your friends can cause issues
- She advises to make sure your partner doesn’t become part of your friend group
Everyone has a different idea of how their partner is going to fit into their life outside of the bubble of their relationship.
This means figuring out how close you want your partner to be with your friends.
And while everyone has their preferences, it’s important to keep in mind what’s going to be most healthy for your dynamic with both your partner and your friends.
Relationship expert Dr. Channa Bromley explains that the healthiest relationships have a balance where your partner gets along with your friends but their connection to them never overshadows yours (to either).
‘How close your partner should be to your friends depends on what kind of relationship you want,’ Dr. Bromley tells the DailyMail.com
If you find that your partner is too distant and has no desire whatsoever to form any sort of relationship with your friends, it could create a division.
It might be frustrating for you, seeing one of the most important people in your life neglecting your support system.
And on the other hand, it can come off as rude to your friends, who also play a vital role in your life.
Dr. Channa Bromley suggests finding a balance of how close your partner is to your friends (stock image)
But if your partner is proving to be too close to your friends, it begins to invite complications – both in your romantic relationship and your platonic ones.
‘Your partner should not be closer to your friends than you are,’ Dr. Bromley says.
She explains that if you find that your partner is creeping into this territory, it can cause issues in your relationship because you’re essentially diluting the foundation of your relationship.
‘Connection thrives on exclusivity,’ she says. ‘When your partner blurs the lines between being your lover and being one of the group, you risk losing the dynamic that makes your bond unique.’
Plus, depending on how comfortable you feel with your partner’s interactions with your friends, a bond that seems ‘too’ close can cause jealousy or discomfort for you.
This can eventually lead to issues in both your relationship and your friendships.
Dr. Bromley explains that the real issue here is power dynamics.
She says that when your partner forms deeper bonds with your friends than they do with you, there’s a shift in control – which can cause you to feel like an outsider in your own circle of friends.
She suggests this can cause issues both in your relationship and your friendships (stock image)
Plus, you risk a lot of potential issues.
‘When a partner integrates too much into your social world, breakups become more complicated, boundaries get blurred, and personal issues become public property,’ Dr. Bromley says.
So while you might love the idea of your partner being best friends with all of your best friends, the reality of that might not be as smooth sailing as you think.
Sure, your partner should be able to keep up a conversation with your friends and be around them without being uncomfortable, but there’s no need for them to infiltrate your friend group.
‘Keep your friendships strong, keep your relationship strong, but do not merge them into one,’ Dr. Bromley advises.
