A bride-to-be was forced to cancel her wedding two months before her big day when she discovered that her mother, who had offered to plan the ceremony, had failed to organise anything at all.
The anonymous 27-year-old woman explained her predicament in a post on Reddit’s ‘Am I the A******?’ forum and, while many people were sympathetic to the bride, not everyone agreed it was simply her mother who was in the wrong.
In her post, she detailed how she had intended to get married in a courthouse because, as an anxiety-sufferer, she didn’t want to overburden herself.
When her mother asked why she and her fiancé didn’t want to have a small ceremony instead, the woman responded: ‘I don’t want to because trying to plan anything makes my anxiety go into overload.’
It was at that point that her mother volunteered to organise the wedding, leaving the bride convinced that she would take it in her stride.
But, after sharing ideas with her mother on Pinterest and discussing potential colour schemes over a number of months, the woman found out that her mother had made next to no progress with the wedding plans.
The only element that her mother had organised was for the bride to arrive at the ceremony on horseback.
The bride added: ‘Fast forward, it’s two months before the wedding is supposed to happen, and my stepdad pulls me aside and says, “if you want this wedding to happen, you need to start pitching in and helping your mom.”‘
A bride-to-be was forced to cancel her wedding with just two months to go when she discovered that her mother, who had offered to plan the ceremony, hadn’t organised anything (stock photo)
Offended by her stepfather’s remark, the young woman explained in her post that she had contributed in a number of meaningful ways.
She wrote: ‘[I] made the guest list, picked out the colour theme, sorted the wedding party, pretty much all the important things on my end so I haven’t just been completely hands off.’
And, despite never wanting a ceremony – let alone an elaborate one – the bride had even identified a horse after her mother had suggested she ride in on one.
As there were only two months left before the ceremony, the anxious bride chose to cancel the entire wedding rather than drive herself into a frenzy by trying to finish all the planning in a matter of weeks.
Having made the decision to call if off, she then told her guests via a Facebook group that ‘due to personal circumstances we are no longer having a wedding ceremony, but will still be having a late reception for anyone who had already made travel plans.’
To add to the drama, the bride’s mother – who saw the message and her daughter’s decision to cancel the wedding as a personal snub – told her daughter she was ‘slandering’ her, according to the bride.
Her mother retaliated by labelling her a ‘disappointment’ in a family group chat, the bride added.
The bride finished her Reddit post: ‘I want to know if I’m justified in being upset and telling everyone we were going back to our original courthouse plan?’
The debacle certainly caught the attention of other Reddit users, with almost 140 comments.
Many people agreed that the bride was well within her rights to be ‘upset’ with her mother and that going back to the original courthouse plan was the right thing to do.
One user commented: ‘NTA [Not the a******] it’s absolutely your mom’s fault. Go to the courthouse!’
Another was even more critical of the bride’s mother, writing: ‘NTW, legit. Your mum is the AH. I wouldn’t give her the time of day, let alone let her near my wedding plan. You have every right to be upset. Stick with the courthouse, at least you know nothing will be mucked up.’
A third person stated comfortingly: ‘NTA – you now get to make your wedding just about you and your SO [significant other].’
A fourth agreed: ‘NTA, and just rip the damn band-aid before this ruins the entire process of your wedding.’
And a fifth weighed in with their advice: ‘This is why when your instinct is to elope, elope. Just do it instead of telling everyone. It’s not even worth saying your engaged. If you know you’re going to elope, go straight to that.’
Yet not everyone online was so supportive, with some users suggesting both the bride and her mother were at fault for failing to communicate effectively – and others putting all the blame on the bride.
One person said: ‘ESH [Everyone sucks here] You both dropped the ball on communication. Neither of you were clear on who was planning what.’
Another commented: ‘ESH. If you really didn’t want a wedding, you should have put your foot down and refused anything but that. If your mom really wanted to plan the wedding, she should have actual communication with you about her capabilities.’
The same Reddit user added: ‘I think she thought you’d want to be involved once you agreed to something non-courthouse, especially since you still were involved in sending ideas. Both sides need more communication.’
One user, however, was even more damning, writing: ‘YTA [You’re the a******]. If your communication skills are truly this poor, your marriage is not going to work well.’
Another agreed: ‘I think you are the AH. You want a courthouse wedding. You allow your Mom, who you’ve known your whole life, to talk you into what she wants versus what you want. Further, you had to expect your Mom was going to drop the ball based on her traits and your past experiences. Now your shocked? Really.
The Reddit user concluded: ‘At this point, figure out what you want, how invested your guest list is and pick the best venue or none at all.’
